Advice for the Newlywed Bride

Can you hear them yet?

The wedding bells ringing…dun, dun, dun-dun, dun, dun, dun-dun…la, la, la-la…

Okay, you get it.

It’s June and it’s officially wedding season. Oh, how I love weddings. I love the brides’ dress, the flowers, the cake, the special vows, and especially the dance floor (you will always find me on a dance floor).

This may sound odd, but every year around this time I start thinking about weddings, but especially mine. My husband proposed to me in March and from March to well, early August (of the same year), we planned every detail together. Yeah, my husband actually wanted to help plan (probably the detail-freak in him 😉).

We were on a tight budget, and by tight, I mean we kind of had no money. We were both still in school, and working part-time. Most of our (or my) “dream” items were not in the wedding. But that is okay. I married the man who loves me, and whom I love. And there’s no price tag on that, amirite?!

Anyways…we’ve been married for almost 6 years now. Which, in my opinion you leave the “newlywed” label around the third year of marriage. In our 6 years (almost) of marriage we have endured health problems, financial loses, a miscarriage, the birth of our son, graduating from school, entering the work force, a second (and current) pregnancy, and marriage counseling. We’ve been through a bit. And honestly, I’d say the one reason we’re still together is because God keeps blessing us with love and for each other.

So, if I may, I’d like to share just three tips with you that I’ve learned along the way that I believe will be of benefit for the newlywed bride.

  1. Learn and accept your husbands love language. You may have learned what your husbands love language is when you were dating, but have you accepted it? Let me clarify. My husband has two “LL’s”. One is acts of service, and the other is physical touch. If I know my husband has had a rough day at work, I clean the house. I make the kitchen and living room look as best as I can. I know this is going to ease his mind upon walking in. Do I like to clean? No. But I know he needs a clean space to relax in after a long day. Another thing he basically needs from me is a back scratch, a foot rub, or a massage. I’m telling you, it’s daily. Sure, I may not feel like giving him a massage after I’ve been running around all day myself, but this is how I communicate that he is important to me and that I love him.
  2. Don’t stop the fun. Y’all, this is where I have fallen short in my marriage. The first few years were fun; trips to NYC, Yosemite, and late-night movie dates. But, unfortunately, after my son was born I became a 95-year-old and stopped having fun. Yes, I was exhausted from being up with my infant for a full year straight, but I didn’t even attempt to do a day outing very often. I not only emptied out my fun tank, but my husbands as well. I know life gets tough, and there are times that staying in may be beneficial, but if you can really get out and play, then do it. And don’t complain while you’re doing it!
  3. Respect and lovingly submit. Alright ladies, here we go. It’s that word; submit. I have to say, I don’t like saying it either. It sounds like a word we’d use with our pets or children. Yet, it’s an important and vital part of staying married. Whether you realize it, or like it, you will need to accept that your husband is the head of the home, and he is the one to make the final decision. I made a horrible choice a few years ago to totally disrespect and ignore my husbands decision for our family. That led to months of fighting, barely speaking, and almost cost me my marriage. If there is an issue that the two of you just cannot resolve, seek counsel. Whether it’s just you seeking it, or the both of you, it will bring peace.

I am no marriage counselor, and being married is still a ton of work for me, but working on these three things have really helped me bloom into the wife God is creating me to be. I wish you beautiful newlywed brides a wonderful and magical wedding day and a thriving, passionate marriage!

Blessings,

Alyssa

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