My hands sat at the keyboard for minutes before I would let them exercise. How long have I been contemplating what may be my God-given gift? How many times have I gotten excited, only to believe my voice is small and unimportant? Too many. I have often searched my heart for Gods calling on my life. I would think, “He has no assignment for me. I am but a life existing in this world”. Oh, how wrong and foolish I was. Maybe you feel the same way I did. Maybe you feel you have no talents, no gifts, and no voice. My friend, with all due respect, you are so wrong. You and I were made for greatness (see Jeremiah 29:11). The very breath of God fills our lungs, therefore, we have life, and we have purpose.
My journey as a writer began somewhere between the ages of 11-13. I grew up in a relatively creative home. My father played the guitar every night when he’d come home from work. Jazz melodies filled our living spaces, while my siblings and I danced around like giddy monkeys. Music was everywhere. I would often take a journal, go to my room, and write. I’d write songs, poems, anything and everything to dump what mess was in my mind (beautiful or not) and I’d finish with the feeling of joy.
I wrote almost every day until my senior year in high school. At that time, my friends became my world, and the ones I could share my feelings with. So, without truly noticing it, I left my friend of paper and pen, and went on with my life. Flash forward to my last year in college, where I studied Psychology, I met my (now) Husband. We dated for 13 months before he popped the question, and we were married 5 months later. After 3 years of marriage, I became pregnant with our son. Alas, my pregnancy made me itch for the pen and paper once again. I began to do research on blogging, reading as many books as my hands could hold, and listening to as many ideas that the Lord would infuse in me. I wanted to write-but I couldn’t. I was scared. I hadn’t written in over 10 years. Was it going to feel natural? Would I just sit and stare at the blank page in front of me? I ignored my desire to fulfill Gods calling on my life.
For the next few months, even well into my sons first year of life, I kept going back to the call. I’d say, “OK I’m going to write. I’m going to encourage others with my voice. I’m going to let myself be creative again. I can do this”. Yet, my fear of not being a perfect writer stumped me. If I was going to speak, I wanted to make sure I did it right. In addition to my perfectionistic thinking, some dear friends of mine started a blog, and let me just tell you-they were amazing writers. Their gifts were obvious. Their words were touching. I knew I couldn’t compete. Why would I write, when my friends were already walking down that road? Surely the Lord wouldn’t give me the same calling? I gave up again. I became a quitter and believed that once again, I had no voice.
Thank God (literally) that Jesus doesn’t think the way I do. He planted this desire within me many, many years ago. He gave me hands to write, a brain to think, and indeed, a voice to speak. I am gifted. I should write. My thoughts and my experiences do matter, just as yours do. You might be wondering how I came to this such awakening. Well, it happened at a mom’s prayer group meeting. A fellow mom, whom is incredibly gifted with wisdom, spoke the words, “Writer” and “Author” over me. When she said that, my heart stung with a thousand needles. She affirmed in me that yes, I am called to write. I knew then that I needed to take my writing seriously. I could no longer feel small, or inadequate. I went home feeling incredible. I would look ahead, and not in the past, to what the Lord has for me.
Friends, I hope that you will come back every week to rest with me. I pray that you will find joy and inspiration when you visit my page. More importantly, I pray that you would live out your God-given gift that is already within you, and may you share it with others for the glory of His Kingdom.